Life in the wild
Kevin had been in the liquor business for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great", says Kevin, "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you, be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem," saysKevin. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too,"
"Now that's really not a problem," says Kevin, warming to the idea. I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there."
"By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
I have a daughter. I tell her, "911 is what you dial after you're raped. 1911 is what you should have before they try."