More Axioms - Only For the Brave Hearted
how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
you give her a shovel!
Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Why do women wear tampons while skydiving?
So they don't whistle during free fall.
Why are women always moist between their legs?
So they don't squeak when they walk.
Why do women have legs?
So they don't leave a track like a snail.
Why do women have 2 sets of lips?
So they can piss and moan at the same time.
If it has tits or tires- it's going to cost you money.
What do you call that useless flap of skin around the vagina?
Why does it take a woman longer to cum than a man?
I was with a woman not to long ago. We got done, (or, at least, I did) and she said, "I'm not satisfied."
I replied, "There's a Snicker's bar in the kitchen. They're guaranteed to satisfy. I'm not holding you responsible for my pleasure, don't hold me responsible for yours."
I was with a different woman the next night. I pulled down my pants, and she snickered. I said, "Hey, it may be small, but it's cute. Fortunately, I'm fast, so I'll be done before you realize how bad I am."
My girlfriend asked "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with that little thing?"
I smiled and said "Me!"
Why do women get their navels pierced?
Because they need a place to hang the air freshner.
I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. - Ayn Rand