All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:39 AM.  

Go Back   Gunco.net > GENERAL Discussion Lobby > Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Humor Funny images, jokes, links to sites and other humorous topics and discussions. Please refrain from posting x-rated material.


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 07-14-2010, 10:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
Grand Poobah
 
Gunco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 14,592
iTrader: 35 / 100%
Default My first time with a condom

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went
in to buy a packet of condoms at Marine's pharmacy.

Mr. Marine's eldest daughter was working behind the counter, and she could
see that I was embarresed. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear
one. I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She
cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to
see if it were emptyIt was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it..

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed
it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked,
holding her breasts up for me to see.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head and drool!

She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she
dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on',
she said, 'We don't have much time..'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, but unfortunately, I could no longer
hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

Then she beat the shit out of me.......
__________________
"Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway." - The Duke
Gunco is online now   Reply With Quote
 
Old 07-15-2010, 03:36 PM   #2 (permalink)
Gunco Member
 
2ndamndmnt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 262
iTrader: 1 / 100%
Default

now that thar is funny, i dont care who you are............
2ndamndmnt is online now   Reply With Quote
 
Old 07-15-2010, 06:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
Cranky Curmudgeon
 
zoom6zoom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,383
iTrader: 5 / 100%
Default

That's a good one....

A guy walks into the drug store and asks for a packet of condoms.
The pharmacist says, "That'll be $5.00 with the tax."
"Tacks?" - the guy exclaims, "I thought you rolled them on!"
zoom6zoom is online now   Reply With Quote
 
Old 07-15-2010, 07:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
TRX
Gunco Irregular
 
TRX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 2,369
iTrader: 2 / 100%
Default

Possibly apocryphal, but a friend of mine claimed he went to a pharmacy back in the early '80s, when you had to ask for them over the counter; they didn't have them out on the shelves back then.

He was appalled when he found the pharmacist was a nice-looking young woman, but since he had a hot date that night, he *needed* those condoms, so he managed to stutter out what he wanted.

The girl then said, "Small, medium, or large?"

Ben's brain flatlined momentarily, and pride made him say "large." So she drops a box on the counter. "Large" meant the jumbo box with twelve dozen condoms... considerably more expensive than what he'd planned to purchase, but his pride kept him from saying that wasn't what he meant...
TRX is online now   Reply With Quote
 
Old 07-15-2010, 11:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
Cranky Curmudgeon
 
zoom6zoom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,383
iTrader: 5 / 100%
Default

Did you know that those things have expiration dates on them? I don't NEED that kind of pressure!
zoom6zoom is online now   Reply With Quote
 
Old 07-18-2010, 08:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
HarryFatman
 
HarryFatman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 33
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Talking L.M.A.O.

Laughing my ass off! Finally a diet I can loose wieght on!!!
HarryFatman is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:39 AM.
Style By: vBSkinworks

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.1.0