The new alphabet

[klauss]

A is for Apple, and B is for Boat,



That used to be right, But now it won't float!



Age before Beauty is what we once said,



But let's be a bit more realistic instead.



>



Now A's for arthritis;



B's the bad back,



C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?



D is for dental decay and decline,



E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!



F is for fissures and fluid retention,



G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.



H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;



I for incisions with scars you can show.



J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,



K is for knees that crack when they bend.



L for libido, what happened to sex?



M is for memory, I forget ! what comes next



N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;



O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!



P for prescription's, I have quite a few, just



give me a pill and I'll be good as new!



Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?



R for reflux, one meal turns to two.



S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,



T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!



U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;



V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.



W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?



X is for X ray, and what might be found.



Y is another year I'm left here behind,



Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.



>



I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,



And I am keeping twenty-six 'doctors' fully employed!!!



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