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Old 06-22-2010, 11:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
TRX
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Default new archeological finds explained

Scientists recently discovered these artifacts while excavating the remnants of the lost Mercn culture.

1) Totems of this type occur all through the Mercn strata. They vary in size and shape, but commonly are rectangular in shape with rows of bumps or studs. Previously, it was thought that these totems were used by the aborigines as prayer objects; if you shouted at it, the gods would hear your prayers. More modern analysis indicates these are actually fertility tokens, with the bumps representing rows of nipples.

2, 3) Decorative tiles, middle Dsco period. These tiles are clearly related to the larger tiles of the previous period. Analysts are uncertain as to the reason for the sudden appearance and disappearance of this artistic mode.

4) Formerly thought to be a fetish object, researchers now believe the ancient Mercns used these objects to dowse for petroleum deposits. As is well known, the Mercns valued petroleum and went to great lengths to extract it. Some now-lost process let them solidify petroleum for use in ephemeral products. The rest was burned to appease the gods.

5) Priest's ansible. In early Mercn times these clumsy objects were connected to walls with strands of copper wire or horsehair to allow the inhabitants of a building to communicate with the spirits of the structure. Two or three hours per day of worship were required to prevent the spirits from causing trouble in a home. More hours were required to placate the spirits of public structures.

The occasional appearance of tiny structures, barely large enough to contain an adult and an ansible, has intrigued archeologists for decades. The recent discovery of ansible-like totems mounted on poles, with no surrounding structure at all, has driven a wedge between the factions of archeo-theologists who believe this represents communication with the spirits of the air and the group who believe it was merely religious vandalism perpetrated by a later culture.

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Old 06-23-2010, 09:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Ha! Ha! I like that! If only they found a shrunken head that looks like Pelosi that would scare the hell out of our great great great******** grandkids!!
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