The old Marine
The Old Marine
Did you hear the one about the old Marine veteran who asked the Commandant to return him to active duty and send him to Iraq?
Of course the Commandant refused, and told the old Marine he had served his time in combat and should relax and enjoy his golden years.
The 'ole Gunny wasn't at all pleased, so he wrote the Secretary of the Navy with the same request. Back came the reply for him to enjoy his golden years, because Iraq was a young Marine's war and there was no place for him.
That really ticked him off, so he wrote his congressman a long, heart wrenching letter explaining in great detail just why he felt he should be returned to active duty.
Back came the reply almost word for word, the same as the SecNav response.......
The 'ole Gunny was livid. He went down to the beach in Norfolk, VA and bought a rowboat, and vowing to get to Iraq one way or the other, he set out rowing his boat and singing the Marine Hymn...." From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli " ........... and off he rowed for Iraq.
Saint Peter had been watching this grizzled 'ole Gunny all the while, and was at first amused by it all but had grown increasingly concerned as the Gunny displayed his commitment to his objective. Saint Peter fina lly turned to God for advice on how to deal with this Gung Ho Gunny.
After hearing the saga unfold, God advised Saint Peter to be merciful and take the Gunny's brain, since that was the center of thought, and he would simply abandon the idea about getting to Iraq.
Now, having taken God's advice and removing the Gunny's brain, St. Peter observed little if any change in the Gunny's behavior. He continued to row his boat and sing at the top of his voice: "From the Halls of Montezuma to the s hores of Tripoli , we will ".......
A little frustrated at the lack of results of his efforts, St. Peter turned again to his Go d and asked, "Now what?"
God said, "Well OK, take his heart, because not even a Marine can function without a heart. So, that should end it."
But when St. Peter had completed his task, and removed the Gunny's heart, he was again amazed that little if any change could be observed in the Gunny's behavior as he continued to row his boat and sing: "From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we will fight our country's battles...." at-the-top-of-his-voice.
Once again, St. Peter asked God for assistance with this unusual situation for which there seemed to be no solution.
This time God responded by suggesting that St. Peter should remove the Marine's testicles, since it's a well known fact that Marines can't function without their testicles. Otherwise, what would be the reason for Marines having the world wide reputation of having the balls to do the impossible?
Convinced this was the answer, St. Peter went to work and removed the 'ole Gunny's balls.
Again, St. Peter observed the Marine, this time with his balls, brains and heart removed, rowing in a never ending circle singing:
"Off we go into the wild blue yonder...."