The Perfect Man

[freedom1776]

The Perfect Man


A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets
into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing, Mister! You're just
like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank Feldman every single time."


Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."


Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won
the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an
opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard
him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."


Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."


Cabbie: "There's more! He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody"s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and
which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a
fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do
everything right."


Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."


Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never
made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his
clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- He was the
perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank
Feldman."


Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"


Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his
damned widow."

[infamous ted]

git er dun