The priest and the taxi cab driver
A priest gets into a taxi cab and the driver turns out to be a terror on the road. He swerves between traffic, runs red lights and speeds down narrrow streets.
The inevitable accident happens and both the priest and the taxi cab driver are killed. When they arrive at Heaven, Saint Peter gives the taxicab driver silken robes, big white wings and a golden harp. Saint Peter give the priest polyester robes, two hand held fans and a kazoo. The priest notices the difference and asks Saint Peter why there was such poor equipment for him after he had been a priest for 50 years.
Saint Peter replies; "We are using a new results based system. When you gave a sermon, everyone fell asleep. When the taxi driver was on the road, everyone prayed with a passion."