A southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon. With
great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take
it and pour it into the river."
A weathered looking Irishman in the congregation let out a loud forced cough.
The minister gave a curious glance and then with even greater emphasis he said, "And
if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the
The Irishman stood up and coughed even louder.
The minister took notice and with righteous zeal proclaimed shaking his fist in the air,
"and if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the
The Irishman looked dumbfounded and raised his hand. The minister finally conceeded and
asked if there was a question. The Irishman replied, "I own some property with a dry lakebed and
before you go pissing it down the river I'd like you to fill my lake first."
Sermon complete, he sat down. The song leader stood very
cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing
song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Ask and Ye shall Receive"