Sheep Questions & Answers

**gunkgy** · 09-15-2007, 11:09 PM

Sheep Questions & Answers
Q: How do farmers find their sheep in long grass?
A: Very satisfying.

Q: What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost?
A: A leisure center.

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear zippers.

Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Q: How do you get a sheep to push harder?
A: Face it toward a cliff.

Q: Why do the horses run so fast in New Zealand?
A: Because they know what's done to the sheep!

Q: Did you hear about the shepherd who committed suicide?
A: He heard the song, "There'll Never Be Another Ewe."

Q: Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep?
A: Meat and wool.

Q: What is the smallest organ in a sheep?
A: A shepherd's tallywhacker.

Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo?
A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back
of a sheep.

Q: Where does virgin wool come from?
A: Ugly sheep!

amdhotprocessor · 09-15-2007, 11:46 PM

just plain wrong..... roflmfao

**Grendeljaeger** · 09-15-2007, 11:49 PM

Baa-aa-aad.

Dirty Harry · 09-15-2007, 11:59 PM

I'm a Scotsman and a Hoosier, I think I have a thing or two to say about this post........ what?.......... Ohhhhhhh........, it was a joke!!!!!!!!

It was funny!!!

Dirty Harry · 09-16-2007, 12:06 AM

Jim Davis would be appauled by this!

**Coils** · 09-16-2007, 12:27 AM

Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

I have asked myself that question before, good thing it's the only one from your list

Dirty Harry · 09-16-2007, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coils

Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

I have asked myself that question before, good thing it's the only one from your list

finish the statement Coils.......'I have an answer to'? Sorry Coils, had to do it!!! Oh Yeah... to gunkgy, the poster...... What is the answer to this question?

kernelkrink · 09-16-2007, 02:05 AM

Buddy Hacket told this one to Johnny Carson one night, I was amazed the NBC censors let it air:

A traveller whose car had broken down at night walks up to a farmhouse and asks the farmer if he can spend the night in his barn. The farmer and his wife instead offer to put him up for the night in their guest bedroom. The next morning the traveller awakens to the smell of a hearty breakfast being prepared.

After eating his fill, the traveller wished to express his gratitude. The Farmer refused to accept cash so the traveller offered to repay him in another manner.

"I can speak to your animals for you, find out if they are happy and if they aren't what you could change to make their lives better."

The Farmer doesn't believe for a minute he can talk to animals, but tells him to go ahead. The guy goes out to the barn for maybe 20 minutes then comes back in.

"Did you have a nice chat with the animals?" the farmer asked, trying not to laugh.

"Why, yes I did. First I talked to your horse. He's pretty happy with his life overall, but he did mention that the new bit on his bridle has a really sharp burr on it, it digs into his gums and hurts really bad."

Hmnn, thinks the Farmer. He has been a bit skittish every time I pull on the reigns. Maybe there is something to this guy's animal talking after all.....

"Next, I talked to your milk cows. All of them are very happy, but they did mention the suction on your milking machine was a bit much, it makes them uncomfortable when you milk them."

Wow, thought the farmer, I did crank up the suction a bit last week, maybe I should drop it back down a bit.....

"Finally, I talked to your sheep and......"

The Farmer jumps up and yells: "They're lying, they're Liars!!!! Every one of them!"

Dirty Harry · 09-17-2007, 08:51 PM

No one else??? I thought we'd have some fun with this one!

**gunkgy** · 09-17-2007, 11:30 PM

Me too, maybe it hits to close to home for some.