Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath; I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Remember, a good friend will help you move. A REALLY good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.
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"A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.", Will Durant
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.", Edmund Burke