Who thinks about wierd sh1t?

[ashhoe]

I keep 450 miles worth of gas in my truck, at all times.
I like to drink, a lot. If SHTF (or the eotwawki, how ever that one is spelled) I'll probably have to quit, but how about tomorrow? Nope, got a few gallons to get me by slowly. 5 cases of Sam Adams too, at all times.
I use tobacco in multiple forms, quit tomorrow? Nope, 5 cartons and 10 rolls of kodiak at all times. I'll work that demon out slow (been there before).
You ever watch the shows with the Bear or Les Stroud? Those ass tards poke a hole through the ice or toss a hook out with a chunk of tinfoil on it. Maybe make a funnel with sticks crammed into the mud. Screw that, I have gill nets made of flourocarbon in my truck, in my work backpack, in my get home bag and my bug out bag. I will, without a doubt, have fish 'till the end of time, a'plenty. They weigh nothing and are, probably, the best food gathering items you could possibly have (as long as you live in a place with water and fish).
Use a bow drill in the divot of one of my Rat Knives to make a fire you ask? Not a chance. Plastic bottles crammed full of cotton balls jammed with petroleum jelly in all those same bags. Lots of bic lighters and a 1/2" X 5" ferrocerium rod in each one too. Can I make a fire? Yep.
Food? Yep. Freeze dried salty food to last a couple days in each bag when I'm lazy. Alchohol stoves and fuel, water filter, pot, snares. Mainstay emergency food bars, yep.
Loaded guns, long and short: ready. Mags and ammo, ready. Quiet guns (22), ready.
Wellpoint driven through the basement floor, got 'er did. Hand pump from the hardware store, installed. Ceramic filter ready for first stage filtration of mass water, that too.
OPSEC you say? Yep. When everyone else looks skinny, me and mine will be skinny too. When "they" smell like shit, I will too. When "they" beg for food, we will too. Will I be ready, yep.
Shelter? probably bug in, or follow the masses. OPSEC, it has to be the focus. Do as the romans do BS. You can't be the only fat clean guy in town that has a good buzz and a bag of jerky, you'll be deaded.
Did I cover it all? Just make sure you look for white oak acorns to make your muffins, the red oak ones taste like shit.
Get a couple years worth of mountain house food? Expensive and large to store, yep. Peace of mind, priceless. Can you boil water?
One more thing, make a solar charger for your Iphone, mine holds about 40 full movies and a billion songs and pictures. Zombieland never gets old. Plus, the SAS app keeps me thinking. And really, who couldn't play solitare 'till the end of time?
There's more, I know it....