Obama should ban bathtubs!
To the Editor,
Podunk Daily Dishrag:
A while back Readerís Digest reported that every year more than 50,000 Americans seek emergency treatment in hospitals for injuries received from slipping and falling in bathtubs and showers. The cost of treating these injuries must be astronomical! And, for everyone who does go to the emergency room there must be hundreds of others who get hurt that way but donít go to the doctor for treatment.
I am outraged that the Government allows people to have these dangerous contraptions in their homes! How can they justify allowing people to suffer like this? I am calling for an immediate ban on ALL such hazardous devices! Nobody can claim that they have a Constitutional Right to keep and bear bathtubs!
Also, inasmuch as most criminals bathe at least once in a while, banning bathtubs will help to lower the crime rate! Some will say that bathtubs donít cause crime, bathers do! But I disagree; itís the bathtub that is to blame! For the publicís safety, we must ban these destructive devices.
And, how about the mental anguish that millions of children are put through by constantly having to take baths? Ban the bathtub-we owe it to our youth!
A fringe benefit to banning bathtubs and showers, is that it would help to curb the tremendous population growth rate (ďGet away! You stink!Ē)
Ban the bathtub-an idea whose time has come! Dario