Don't Pick Fights in Bars
This small skinny dude walks up to the bar and starts to sit on a bar stool, and a big dude on the next stool says, "That seats taken!" The little dude sits down anyway. The big dude grabs him and whacks him several times with the back of his hand and tells the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was Judo from Japan." Next day the little dude returns, before the big dude gets a chance to hit him, he hits the big dude several times and the big dude falls to the floor. The little dude tells the bartender, "Tell that sucker when he wakes up, that was a Monkey Wrench from Sears."
Colonel Jimbo From the Land of the Wurts in Northeast Kentucky