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Thread: Fred

  1. #1
    Another Day In Paradise DiabloII's Avatar
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    Default Fred

    Fred came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a
    deep slumber.

    He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
    'You died in your sleep, Fred.'

    Fred was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

    St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a
    chicken.'

    Fred was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm
    near hishome. The
    next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the
    ground.

    A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your
    first day here?'

    'Not bad,' replied Fred the hen, 'but I have this
    strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

    'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg
    before?'

    'Never,' said Fred.

    'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

    He did, and a few uncomfortable
    seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced
    motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

    As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and
    heard.....

    "Fred, wake up! You just
    shit the
    bed!"

    Getting OLD
    just ain't what they said it would
    be!
    buying up all the guns and ammo i can just to PISS OFF the douche bag liberals

  2. #2
    Hang them high Judge. jimmy t's Avatar
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    Default

    Sounds like me.
    Your in my Mind, and in my Sights

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