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Thread: defective parrot

  1. #1
    Gunco Member rimfire's Avatar
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    Default defective parrot

    A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.


    It doesn't have any feet or legs.


    The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'


    The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

    I'm a defective parrot.'


    'Holy crap,' the guy replies.


    'You actually
    understood and answered me. !'


    'I got every word,' says the parrot.


    'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

    'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.


    'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without
    any feet.?'

    'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my dick around this wooden bar, like a little hook.


    You can't see it, because of my feathers.'


    'Wow,' says the guy.



    'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'

    'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.


    I'm especially good at ornithology.


    You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'


    The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.


    'Sorry, but I just can't
    afford
    that.'

    'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.


    You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'

    The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.

    Weeks go by.


    The parrot is sensational.

    He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.


    The guy is delighted.


    One day
    the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.


    'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.'

    'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

    'When the UPS man
    delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'


    'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.


    'THEN what happened?'

    'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

    'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let
    him.?'


    'Yes.


    Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

    Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

    DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'


    If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad
    day.

  2. #2
    GuncoHolic twa2471's Avatar
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    How I hate IPA coming out of my nose!!!!! Good one!

  3. #3
    GuncoHolic Tommo's Avatar
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    Thanks, excelllent!

  4. #4
    Gunco Regular Ken3030's Avatar
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    That's a good one!
    “The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference- they deserve a place of honor with all that is good.” George Washington

    "A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."
    George Washington

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