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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Bronson's columns are good stuff!

http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2004/06/03/loc_bronson03.html


Storm alert: Run for it! Enstupidation



It's sometime after midnight, and my family is huddled in the basement with flashlights, candles, matches and Pete Delkus, who has just opened a fresh can of panic.

Welcome to the Weatherman Underground.

When I was in college, members of the Weatherman Underground were radical bomb-throwing freaks. These days, we all go underground when the weatherman freaks.

Delkus and all the other meteorologists with super-duper enhanced, 3-D, X-Ray vision, storm-tracker, spoon-bending, stain-remover Doppler radar were just doing their job, which is to spread as much pandemonium as possible anytime a storm cloud strays near Cincinnati.

Actually, that's not fair. I think they were just doing everything they could to alert us, so we don't rip their heads off for failing to predict weather that changes faster than a politician's principles.

Weather bulletins that interrupt our regularly scheduled programming are the price we pay to live in the child-proof nation, where everyone is protected by an invisible force-field of class-action lawsuits. TV storm warnings are just a video cousin of all those lawyer warnings on power tools and appliances.

"Warning: Gasoline is not intended for use in microwave ovens."

"Caution: Pets are not dishwasher safe."

"Attention: Do not use your electric hair dryer in the shower."

"Hey, moron: Don't even think about using these hedge trimmers for a haircut."

There oughta be a word for this cultural defect. And the other day I found it: "enstupidation.

Blogger Fred Reed uses it to describe affirmative action and television. But the word has too much talent to be stuck playing piano in that bar. It could work anywhere.

For example, my car locks itself again if I don't open a door in 10 seconds after pushing the "unlock" remote. This "security device" is annoying, maybe even dangerous. "By the time I found out the guy had a gun, officer, my car had already locked me out." Enstupidation.

And don't get me started on those Velcro "buttons" that weld your pocket shut as soon as you take out your wallet, so you stand there trying to put it back with one hand while you use the other to pry loose the pit-bull jaws of Velcro, doing a deviant version of the Macarena as you hold up the line at Home Depot. Enstupidation.

When a high-school dropout Hollywood star pretends to be an expert on foreign policy and politics - and other people listen - that's enstupidation.

"Youths" who celebrated Memorial Day by throwing rocks at cops in Avondale: enstupidation.

People who think the paranoid delusions of Michael Moore are a "documentary": enstupidation.

A city council that demands cruiser cams to find out if cops are doing anything wrong, but won't let a TV crew film them doing the job right: enstupidation.

One left-wing San Francisco federal judge (redundancy alert) who overrules the House, Senate and president to protect the "right" to barbaric partial-birth abortions: enstupidation.

Ted Kennedy lecturing on morality; Al Gore ranting about anyone "dishonoring" our country: enstupidation.

Slamming on your brakes to avoid a crash so someone can read a freeway Artimis sign that says "Buckle Your Seat Belt": enstupidation.

A country that runs to the basement during a thunderstorm, but forgets what terrorists did on 9-11: enstupidation nation.

E-mail [email protected] or call 768-8301.
 

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I liked the last use of enstupidation. Same goes for the folks in this nation that think we're losing what will probably go down in history as the most efficient war ever fought. (not the war on terror in general, but specifically Iraq)


I came across some major En-Stoooopidation this week. Took an odd job over the winter delivering pizza. I've lived in the same small town for years and know all the surrounding roads so all in all it was pretty darned easy. Since I normally work on my own it had been many moons since I had to work with stooooopid, lazy, young people. Argh! How could I have forgotten so easily how terrible it can be? Well, long story short I quit 2 days before Christmas in a less than professional mannor and as a result was barred from the establishment's bar area. (nevermind the fact that I was working, not drinking in the bar...) I hate to sound like one of those horrible meetings some of you are forced to attend where the word "teamwork" is mentioned a hundred times over but there is alot to be said about teamwork. Lazy people just don't realize that teamwork works in their lazy favor, ya know?

Well here it is June and I haven't bought anything from the pizza joint and I stop in the bar across the street for a beer and decide to order a pizza to take to a friend's house who had invited me to come and watch a movie. Just trying to be nice....Well, the bartender informs me that they "have to check" to see if they can sell me food????? Hmmm, since I know several employees I decide to walk over and see what the fuss is face to face. I walk through the door and hear "One more step and I call the sheriff". No need for that, all I wanted was a pizza, nevermind. So I run across the general manager last night who hadn't been working who informs me that her employee claimed I had called in BOMB THREATS Dang, that some serious s*#t over a lousy $10 pizza! Yep, Enstoooopidation here in the heartland. Personally I would consider any bomb threat something law enforcement should be informed of right away, I'm not sure how they handled it but I sure as hell don't appreciate being slandered in such a way. I just started selling work locally instead of fighting the highway, I don't need any potential clients hearing stuff like that...

Don't know whether to take the issue up with local law enforcement or an attorney but I have a feeling it will be one or the other (if not both)

Enstooooopidation Nation indeed. :confused:
 

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Sure did, they look pretty nice. I'll shoot ya another pm here in a minute, gotta make a quick phone call and grab another coffee. :smile:
 

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DADDY WARBUCKS
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Sang, Bronson is great. I also enjoy his columns.

It is a damn shame they made him step down as Editor. He was too conservative for the direction they wanted to take the paper. I can barely read the editorial page now with the liberal morons running the show.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Bronson is a beacon in a storm around here for logic. This city is going to the dogs anymore and it really is hard to believe since it used to be such a logical place.

I just found today that only one other county in the US has lost more % of people in the last year.

Just a few years ago we were America's most livable city, what happened?

The libs and hippy freaks took over................
 

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DADDY WARBUCKS
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I grew up in Cleveland. The same thing happened there 30 years ago. Race pimps took over, made the city a laughingstock and it took a nosedive. It is only recently recovered from that and it took years.

I am afraid that is what is happening here in Cincinnati now. It will be years before we recover. Like an alcoholic, it has to hit rock bottom before a recovery.
 
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