While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun
waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the
north?"
When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the
east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't
keep up with that stuff."
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I
got a call from an In-duh-vidual who asked what hours the call center
was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7
days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the
call quickly, I said,"Uh. Pacific."
But he's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we
overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got
on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was
talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the
battlefield to burst enemy soldiers' chests.
One In-duh-vidual in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid!
Why don't they just wear headphones?"
And a few years later, he's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut
through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger
side door's map pocket.
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The
cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
I was hanging out with a conservative friend of mine when we saw a
woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her
head?"
I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same
distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place
last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was
better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first
sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her
face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the
same price on the menu?"
To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."
But he's going to vote.
******************************************************
I was at a convenience store buying a 99-cent "Behemoth Gulp" or some
such thing. The cost with tax was $1.02. I only had a $5 bill. The
clerk asked if I had two pennies. I said I didn't.
She said, "We'll take a couple from here," and got two pennies out of
her penny cup at the register. She handed me back my change: $4 in
bills.and the two pennies.
But she's going to vote.
*********************************************************************
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained
professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your
plane arrived yet?"
But she's going to vote.
VOTE EARLY AND AVOID THE CONFUSION.
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun
waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the
north?"
When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the
east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't
keep up with that stuff."
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I
got a call from an In-duh-vidual who asked what hours the call center
was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7
days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the
call quickly, I said,"Uh. Pacific."
But he's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we
overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got
on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was
talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the
battlefield to burst enemy soldiers' chests.
One In-duh-vidual in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid!
Why don't they just wear headphones?"
And a few years later, he's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut
through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger
side door's map pocket.
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The
cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
I was hanging out with a conservative friend of mine when we saw a
woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her
head?"
I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same
distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
But she's going to vote.
***********************************************************************
My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place
last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was
better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first
sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her
face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the
same price on the menu?"
To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."
But he's going to vote.
******************************************************
I was at a convenience store buying a 99-cent "Behemoth Gulp" or some
such thing. The cost with tax was $1.02. I only had a $5 bill. The
clerk asked if I had two pennies. I said I didn't.
She said, "We'll take a couple from here," and got two pennies out of
her penny cup at the register. She handed me back my change: $4 in
bills.and the two pennies.
But she's going to vote.
*********************************************************************
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained
professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your
plane arrived yet?"
But she's going to vote.
VOTE EARLY AND AVOID THE CONFUSION.
