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One of my favorite one-liners is when people into martial arts, kickboxing, or any other form of self-defense training start to brag about their skills.

:boxing:

Whenever they say they're a black belt in Judo, or Karate, or whatever, I always counter that I'm a Master of Ching-Ching Pao.

They immediately ask, "What on earth is Ching-Ching Pao?"

I make a motion with my bare hands like I'm chambering a round on a semi-auto pistol, and say, "Ching-Ching."

Then I point my imaginary pistol and say, "Pow."

That is Ching-Ching Pow. :handgun:
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Another funny one I always get a kick out of using:
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When somebody brags about how they quit smoking, drinking, eating, or whatever, I say:

"I finally quit drinking."

:cheers:


:band:



"In fact, about 11 o'clock last night I finally quit." :stretcher


:lamo:

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Anybody else have any good ones?
 

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Although I have never smoked I have had ample opportunities to use the one liner "Hell, any pussy can quit smoking but it takes a man to die of lung cancer"

My favorite one liner for drunks and druggies is, "she says she doesn't drink anymore, then again she doesn't drink any less either"

And then of course there is the "cheap, fast, and good" line, "you can have any two". While this line seems to be one of those basic truths in life I find that most people do not understand it until you actually write it down on a piece of paper and they do the math on it themselves. It is funny to watch the light bulb come on over their head and they exclaim "Oh, I get it!"
 
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