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DADDY WARBUCKS
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A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate,he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers,there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but Air Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life,wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program."Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years" The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."
 

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Mystic Knight of the Sea
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I'm trying to convince my wife that I need to go on a daily biscuit and gravy for breakfast diet, with her homemade biscuits. I haven't convinced her of the need yet though. :D
 

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I've gained 15 pounds in the last 6 months! Lol,I'm still far from fat but I've decided to hit the health club at work every day and lose 20 lbs. by April.As for the Holidays...bring on the food!:)
 

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Poof no eyebrows
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Cephus said:
I have a sugar problem and that means my season of eating will only be painful.
I'll just eat what I want and keep checking the levels when I get to around 450 I'll QUIT. LMAO
I have my wonderful low sodium diet to contend with, i'm limited to 1500 mg's a day. Oh well walking straight and upright is overrated anyway's lol.
 

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Diet?? Whadda ya mean diet?? I'm in shape................round is a shape........isn't it?????:dunno:
 

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Friend of MCMXI
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I've tried 3 different diets, wasn't getting enough food on one.
 

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Gunco Samurai
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I'm going on the SEE-FOOD diet, I see food I eat it.
 

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I'll be on one Jan 1---gotta get past the holiday leftovers. I have a high school reunion in June---I don't know why I'm bothering to go--I didn't like the damn ppl when I was there :boxing:
 

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Mystic Knight of the Sea
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C'mon wife, I need some biscuits and gravy.....I'm starving. :D
 

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Pogo said:
C'mon wife, I need some biscuits and gravy.....I'm starving. :D
I love biscuits and gravy, and when I was in the army my favorite breakfast was SOS with a couple of fried eggs on top.:)
 

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Mystic Knight of the Sea
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Yeah, SOS is good stuff. And a big canteen cup of field coffee. :)



It's a real balancing act eating out of the mess kit out in the field. Usually I ended up sitting on my helmet and sharing my food with the ants and bugs on the ground. :D
 

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Mystic Knight of the Sea
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SOS is great stuff. I'd rather have it than a lot of stuff in those fancy restaurants. Never had peanut butter and syrup over toast though. Doesn't actually sound all that bad.
 

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magnus392 said:
SOS is good stuff!!! I still ask my dad to make it on ocassion when we are together. Reminds me of simpler times when he would fix it for me as a kid. HE also showed me peanutbutter and syrup mixed together over toast:)
peanutbutter and syrup kicks arse!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking I will have that for breakfast in the morning--ever had peanutbutter and banana sandwiches? t'is good too :thumbup1:
 

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Taz38 said:
ever had peanutbutter and banana sandwiches? t'is good too :thumbup1:
All my life..........and that's a long time.:)
 

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ever had peanutbutter and banana sandwiches? t'is good too


Yep, but I like to throw in a piece of balona.
 

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fluff-a-nuter is that the marshmellow stuff? mmmmmmmmm that's good

Lupeloff said:
ever had peanutbutter and banana sandwiches? t'is good too

Yep, but I like to throw in a piece of balona.
ya lost me at bologna--I don't even eat that on a normal sandwich :sick:

Cephus, you want me to fry bananas........I may have to try it just to say I did...lol
 

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:) Not liking balogna is unamerican..............IMO.:)
 
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