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The Debate AWB question as translated by our thought catcher:
SCHIEFFER: Mr. President, new question, two minutes.
You said that if Congress would vote to extend the ban on assault weapons, that you'd sign the legislation, but you did nothing to encourage the Congress to extend it. Why not?
BUSH: Actually, I made my intentions -- made my views clear.(I wouldn't touch this sucker with a ten foot pole.) I did think we ought to extend the assault weapons ban,(To include John Kerry's mouth as an "Assault Weapon") and was told the fact that the bill was never going to move, because Republicans and Democrats were against the assault weapon ban, people of both parties.(because the last people who voted for it had to find new jobs)
I believe law-abiding citizens ought to be able to own a gun. I believe in background checks at gun shows or anywhere to make sure that guns don't get in the hands of people that shouldn't have them.(as is already the law, you ignorant morons!)
But the best way to protect our citizens from guns is to prosecute those who commit crimes with guns. And that's why early in my administration I called the attorney general and the U.S. attorneys and said: Put together a task force all around the country to prosecute those who commit crimes with guns.(Actually, I said "Get off your asses and get something done on this or you will all find yourselves chasing ambulances like that idiot Edwards was doing till he started playing house with Kerry.") And the prosecutions are up by about 68 percent -- I believe -- is the number.(I'd really like to say the executions are up too, but you libs are too damn softhearted)
Neighborhoods are safer when we crack down on people who commit crimes with guns.(Actually, they are a lot safer if the scums think that the little old lady they are going rob may be packin')
To me, that's the best way to secure America.
SCHIEFFER: Senator?
KERRY: I believe it was a failure of presidential leadership not to reauthorize the assault weapons ban.(No matter what the American People actually want)
I am a hunter.(Not really) I'm a gun owner.(yeah, I own a $10,000 shotgun I use for photo ops.) I've been a hunter since I was a kid, 12, 13 years old.(Yep, I've hunted rich women all my life) And I respect the Second Amendment and I will not tamper with the Second Amendment.(Unless you consider repealing it "tampering")
But I'll tell you this. I'm also a former law enforcement officer.(OK, well actually I'm just a lawyer who worked for the city. But i did stay at Holiday Inn Express once) I ran one of the largest district attorney's offices in America, one of the ten largest.(Yeah, I ran up the costs of running it.) I put people behind bars for the rest of their life.(When I thought it would look good in the papers) I've broken up organized crime.(Yep, Rodney Dangerfield couldn't have done a better job) I know something about prosecuting.(Well, I should say Persecuting. As in "persecuting gun owners for wanting to protect their rights)
And most of the law enforcement agencies in America wanted that assault weapons ban.(If they want any Federal Money from me if I become president they damn well better say so too!) They don't want to go into a drug bust and be facing an AK-47.(Yeah....So I'm going to legalize drugs so they will be safer!)
I was hunting(Photo op) in Iowa last year with a sheriff from one of the counties there, and he pointed to a house in back of us, and said, "See the house over? We just did a drug bust a week earlier, and the guy we arrested had an AK-47 lying on the bed right beside him."(Well, he actually said "Don't shoot that way, there's a house there", but this sounds better.)
Because of the president's decision today, law enforcement officers will walk into a place that will be more dangerous. Terrorists can now come into America and go to a gun show and, without even a background check, buy an assault weapon today.(OK, I know this isn't true, but hey, if you idiots believe it, who am I to set you straight?)
And that's what Osama bin Laden's handbook said, because we captured it in Afghanistan.(well, actually, I read it on the HCI website, but it sure sounds good, doesn't it?) It encouraged them to do it.(I realize how ludicrous this sounds, but I'm trying to prove a point here, OK?)
So I believe America's less safe.(Only I, Super Liberal, can protect you from the evils of private firearms ownership!)
If Tom DeLay or someone in the House said to me, "Sorry, we don't have the votes," I'd have said, "Then we're going to have a fight."(Because, dammit, I want it done MY way, and you idiots are going to follow me no matter what!)
And I'd have taken it out to the country(Actually, I'd take it to the inner cities where my Liberal give-aways make me popular. Farmers and ranchers really don't like me much.) and I'd have had every law enforcement officer(That I could coerce with offers of federal grant money) in the country visit those congressmen.(And beat them with nightsticks until they straighten up and follow my party line, damn them!) We'd have won what Bill Clinton won.(OK, I don't really want a reputation as a womanizing lying scumbag, but it worked for him, so why not?)
SCHIEFFER: Mr. President, new question, two minutes.
You said that if Congress would vote to extend the ban on assault weapons, that you'd sign the legislation, but you did nothing to encourage the Congress to extend it. Why not?
BUSH: Actually, I made my intentions -- made my views clear.(I wouldn't touch this sucker with a ten foot pole.) I did think we ought to extend the assault weapons ban,(To include John Kerry's mouth as an "Assault Weapon") and was told the fact that the bill was never going to move, because Republicans and Democrats were against the assault weapon ban, people of both parties.(because the last people who voted for it had to find new jobs)
I believe law-abiding citizens ought to be able to own a gun. I believe in background checks at gun shows or anywhere to make sure that guns don't get in the hands of people that shouldn't have them.(as is already the law, you ignorant morons!)
But the best way to protect our citizens from guns is to prosecute those who commit crimes with guns. And that's why early in my administration I called the attorney general and the U.S. attorneys and said: Put together a task force all around the country to prosecute those who commit crimes with guns.(Actually, I said "Get off your asses and get something done on this or you will all find yourselves chasing ambulances like that idiot Edwards was doing till he started playing house with Kerry.") And the prosecutions are up by about 68 percent -- I believe -- is the number.(I'd really like to say the executions are up too, but you libs are too damn softhearted)
Neighborhoods are safer when we crack down on people who commit crimes with guns.(Actually, they are a lot safer if the scums think that the little old lady they are going rob may be packin')
To me, that's the best way to secure America.
SCHIEFFER: Senator?
KERRY: I believe it was a failure of presidential leadership not to reauthorize the assault weapons ban.(No matter what the American People actually want)
I am a hunter.(Not really) I'm a gun owner.(yeah, I own a $10,000 shotgun I use for photo ops.) I've been a hunter since I was a kid, 12, 13 years old.(Yep, I've hunted rich women all my life) And I respect the Second Amendment and I will not tamper with the Second Amendment.(Unless you consider repealing it "tampering")
But I'll tell you this. I'm also a former law enforcement officer.(OK, well actually I'm just a lawyer who worked for the city. But i did stay at Holiday Inn Express once) I ran one of the largest district attorney's offices in America, one of the ten largest.(Yeah, I ran up the costs of running it.) I put people behind bars for the rest of their life.(When I thought it would look good in the papers) I've broken up organized crime.(Yep, Rodney Dangerfield couldn't have done a better job) I know something about prosecuting.(Well, I should say Persecuting. As in "persecuting gun owners for wanting to protect their rights)
And most of the law enforcement agencies in America wanted that assault weapons ban.(If they want any Federal Money from me if I become president they damn well better say so too!) They don't want to go into a drug bust and be facing an AK-47.(Yeah....So I'm going to legalize drugs so they will be safer!)
I was hunting(Photo op) in Iowa last year with a sheriff from one of the counties there, and he pointed to a house in back of us, and said, "See the house over? We just did a drug bust a week earlier, and the guy we arrested had an AK-47 lying on the bed right beside him."(Well, he actually said "Don't shoot that way, there's a house there", but this sounds better.)
Because of the president's decision today, law enforcement officers will walk into a place that will be more dangerous. Terrorists can now come into America and go to a gun show and, without even a background check, buy an assault weapon today.(OK, I know this isn't true, but hey, if you idiots believe it, who am I to set you straight?)
And that's what Osama bin Laden's handbook said, because we captured it in Afghanistan.(well, actually, I read it on the HCI website, but it sure sounds good, doesn't it?) It encouraged them to do it.(I realize how ludicrous this sounds, but I'm trying to prove a point here, OK?)
So I believe America's less safe.(Only I, Super Liberal, can protect you from the evils of private firearms ownership!)
If Tom DeLay or someone in the House said to me, "Sorry, we don't have the votes," I'd have said, "Then we're going to have a fight."(Because, dammit, I want it done MY way, and you idiots are going to follow me no matter what!)
And I'd have taken it out to the country(Actually, I'd take it to the inner cities where my Liberal give-aways make me popular. Farmers and ranchers really don't like me much.) and I'd have had every law enforcement officer(That I could coerce with offers of federal grant money) in the country visit those congressmen.(And beat them with nightsticks until they straighten up and follow my party line, damn them!) We'd have won what Bill Clinton won.(OK, I don't really want a reputation as a womanizing lying scumbag, but it worked for him, so why not?)
